Saturday, August 2, 2008

Sassy kid + booby trapped rabbit = no sleep for Mommy.

Last night around 1am Kaelin started to cry. She's had a few bad dreams here and there recently ... "there's a spider in my crib!" .. "the ceiling fan is taking to me!" (ha) ... so I went in to calm her. I picked her up and cuddled a while, then she said she wanted to get back into her crib. I tucked her in, smothered her with kisses and started to leave.
"Mommy .. you stay here."
ugh. We all know Mommy is a complete sucker .. but I tried to wiggle out of it nonetheless.
"No .. Mommy is going to sleep in her bed .. I'll see you when its time to wake up okay?"
"Mommy ..... no. You stay here .. in my room."
"No babe .. you're fine .. just go to sleep."
Here's the kicker ....
She actually says, "Ummmmm ...." (obviously thinking of the one thing that would be sure to pull at Mommy's heart.)
again, "Ummmm .. I'm so scared in my room .. all by myself. You stay here?"
(insert cartoon sound effect of big pleading blue eyes blinking here)

Kaelin 1 .. Mommy 0.

In a last ditch attempt to escape I state the obvious, "I have no where to sleep K .. I'll have to sleep on the floor ... without a pillow."

She quickly bolts up .. grabs a large stuffed bunny ... and chucks it at my head. She then flops back down onto her nice cozy pillow and and curls up.

"Um .. is this supposed to be my pillow?"
(in her happy little sing song voice) "Yep! You lay down on it."
"This isn't a ....."
"Shhhhh .. I sleeping."
"Well, if you're sleeping, I can go back to my ..."


Kaelin 2 .. Mommy still 0.

I try and get comfortable on the rabbit for a good thirty minutes. It's not happening. All the while I hear the sound of Kaelin sucking on her pacifier. I hear the tell tale rhythm of *suck suck suck ..... small pause. *suck suck .. longer pause. *suck ... silence.
I figure she's asleep .. I can sneak out. I decide before I go I'll forcefully stuff that darn rabbit under the crib for not working with me and my comfort in the slightest.
Bad move.
I had forgotten that we bought the rabbit at Build a Bear and when you squeeze it's arm it says, "I love you!" in a high pitched, almost taunting voice.
So .... as I am punishing the stuffed creature it sings out, "I love you! I love you!"

Then I hear .."heheheh"
It's as if she booby trapped the thing to prevent my escape.
(we'll see how smart that rabbit thinks it is as it's being stuffed in the trash ... who's laughing now bunny?!)
"Mommy .. you hold my hand"

Okay fine .. I know when I've been outsmarted (by a two year old and a stuffed rabbit)
I lay down on the floor and reach through the bars of the crib. Somehow I manage to fall asleep.

I wake up in pain. Horrid pain. It takes me a second to come out of the sleep coma ....
Am I on fire? Did one of the cats get bit by a rabbid raccoon, contract rabies, and is now gnawing off my arm? Was I shot??
I shake off the sleep.
My hand is asleep. Of course.
However, it's the fact that there's a tiny hand rhythmically squeezing life back into it that's causing the pain.
"Aieeeee! That hurts! Knock it off!"
again with the "heheheh"
"Mommy .. you wake up?"
"Yes .. I'm awake! My hand hurts. Why are you awake?"
"Mommy .. you go.'
"K .. you told me to stay .. I'm still half asleep .. I'll leave in the morning."
"No... you go now. You go out of my room."
"Are you kicking me out of your room?! After you made me sleep on the floor?!"
"Shhhh. You go."


I leave .. I open the door to the master and see David and three cats sprawled across the bed. No room for me. I look at the clock. 6:25. Awesome.
I figure there's no point in fighting it. I get in the tub with a face mask and a magazine.

Kaelin 3 .. Mommy ........ 0.

It's 8:30 now .. no noise coming from the girls' room. So nice to know that Miss Sass is getting some good sleep. (does sarcasm come through in print?)

I'm so grounding that kid when she finally rolls her little Princess butt out of bed.

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